I no longer look at history and wonder how something terrible happened. People have always been selfish, greedy, and cruel. Power-hungry. There have always been cowards, too afraid of losing what they have to speak up for their neighbor1.
It’s also true that people have always been brave, kind, and willing to do the right thing at great personal cost. It’s easy when you read about history, safe and comfortable from the “enlightened” present, to think of yourself as that kind of person.
But then someone makes fun of another kid in your class, and you don’t say anything because it’s easier to keep quiet. It keeps you safe. Is that the same? It’s the first kind of little test life sends you to see if— when it’s uncomfortable— you’ll stand on those principles you name as your own, consequences be damned.
It’s also easier to do that if you’re operating from a place of relative safety. If you have enough social cache, the other kids roll their eyes and move on. As you get older, you learn to pick your fights because you don’t have an endless depth of energy, emotional or otherwise. There’s the balance and the practice of using whatever power and privilege you have on behalf of those who don’t while also keeping yourself safe.
The stakes are very different from middle school, but somehow, the same unimpressive people seem to end up in charge.
Now open your textbooks to the year 1952
The other problem, I think, is the way we teach history. We’re used to a linear narrative in which our ancestors overcame their lesser qualities, and society progressed as a result. THE END! We are Good now! We edit out or downplay the backlash2 and backsliding, pretending we haven’t had to drag America kicking and screaming into even a marginally better future every step of the way.
Unfortunately, we find ourselves facing another one of those downward slopes on the long arc of the moral universe, baby. The worst of us trying to drag everyone back to an imagined, superior past when certain groups “knew their place”.
It’s depressing to realize the extent to which3 Americans are racist and misogynistic— or willing to sacrifice other people and the planet as long as they never have to be even a little bit uncomfortable.
I get it. Life is hard. The systems are built that way on purpose because if you’re busy and exhausted from staying alive, you don’t have time for thinking, questioning, or organizing. One of our ruling parties saw a way to further exploit that and built an alternate reality supported by a thriving ecosystem of media and more that preys on people’s fears. Mainstream journalism took the “both sides” bait while falling apart at the seams. (Third information crisis, anyone?)
There’s no one reason you can point to for why we find ourselves here. It feels cathartic to assign blame, to get angry at 15 million voters not turning out vs 2020 (this claim is false, in case you don’t click on the link).
The hard truth is that the work is never done. The work is hard work, uncomfortable work, and we may not see anything come from it in our own lifetimes. We have to keep showing up anyway, because it is the right thing to do.
The good news is that you, one person reading this, does not have to everything. You just have to do something.
Come sit at the weird (affectionate) kids’ table
A better future is always possible but it is not promised to us.
Find the people who are already doing the work and figure out how you can best help them with your money, time, or any particular sets of skills you might have there, Liam Neeson. Find one cause that’s in your wheelhouse and devote yourself to that.
My hottest take is that I don’t think you should shut out everyone in your life that isn’t your idealogical mirror; that’s only going to shove them further into the arms that hold them tight and whisper easy lies.
To be clear, I don’t mean that you should go find the worst person gleefully shouting horrible things and waste your precious time on this earth trying to Debate them. I do mean that if you meet someone out in this wild world who does actually seem to be operating in good faith from a different perspective that you engage with them, understanding that one conversation isn’t going to Change Their Minds.
That’s the worst and hardest thing about this kind of work: that it’s horrible to have to convince someone that you’re a whole human being that deserves equal rights4 and people usually only change their minds about things like that when they have someone in their life directly affected by policy issues.
And most depressing of all, you might spend hours of your life on this kind of project only to have that person disappoint you anyway when it matters most. I’m not saying you have to make yourself into a martyr; have boundaries and keep them. This work is not for everyone, especially the most vulnerable among us.
I am saying if you are the kind of person operating from a place of relative safety— I’m talking to well-off white men and women here— this is our kind of work to do.
The last one is for all of us: the inner work. What would it take for you to become that which you abhor? Where is the line?
It’s not usually one Very Bad Thing, The Obvious Moment You Should Take A Stand As A Test Of Your Moral Character, but more of a series of smaller bad things that you’re asked to do. One little compromise after another until you can’t think about it too much because you know you’ve compromised your values and there’s still day-to-day survival to worry about.
If you know your worst instincts it’s harder for them to rule you.
Get Rec’d
What I’m reading, watching, being haunted by.
What I’m reading: I just finished Jennifer Saint’s Hera, an imperfect examination of how an existing power structure can twist who you want to be into someone you don’t recognize or even like— but also the healing that can come after breaking free of it.
What I’m watching: This remake of Idiocracy is leaving a lot to be desired, tbh.
Reality: “There is no panacea for this. There is only President-Elect Donald Trump, and the scores of millions of people who wanted him in office again, but also the scores of millions for whom this is a nightmare brought back to life. If you are in the latter group, there will be future opportunities to organize, to vote in local elections, to mitigate some of the harm. But for the moment there's little to do, and no illusions left, just the struggle of figuring out how to live in this country, with these people.” This Place is All Fucked Up
Escapism: I’ll see you in the forest.
Wildcard: Here’s a new fun party game just in time for the holidays!
Until next time.
I’m not talking about people operating in this framework out of fear of their own survival and that of their immediate family; I’m talking about those worried about losing their social status and/or material possessions
Black Wall Street was not in my curriculum, how about yours?
Half the electorate!!! Not the same as half of America, but still very depressing!!!!
WHAT A CONCEPT