The Dinner Party at the End of the World
Cheers to the apocalypse, babes
HELLO FRIENDS. It is I, Sparker, lurching back into your inboxes after an impromptu sabbatical.
How, uh…how are we doing?
I started this draft months ago and came back to it intermittently, as the general currents of life chaos carried me along. I accidentally became important at work. I helped put on the signature event for the local nonprofit I’m on the board of when we had no one to fill that position. I adopted a kitten. I’ve been dating someone.
And Texas, once again, faced tragedy. This time in the town my parents have called home for twenty years. They are safe, but so many others are not. So many families are now broken.
More than one thing had to go wrong for something like this to happen; for 27 children and camp counselors to die, for hundreds of people to be dead and missing after a holiday weekend on the river.
We are asked not to ask questions. To call it an Act of God. To not look up.
I’m for the Jobs the Comet Will Provide
I recently rewatched Don’t Look Up, and it’s unfortunately even more relevant than when it came out in 20211. We’re doing everything from 2016 again, but this time dumber and with more destruction of our institutions, PLUS a dash more war.
FUN!!!
It’s easy to watch a movie like that and take away that it doesn’t matter what you do; it doesn’t matter how much expertise you have or how raw your throat gets from trying to scream the truth so someone hears you and does something.
It’s the myth of Cassandra, but you are Cassandra, you know the myth, and you’re watching it play out in real time. B L E A K.
It’s easier to look back at the last few years and say “we should have done this” — or even better, because it absolves you specifically — “they should have done that”. And yeah, obviously, a lot of large-scale fucking up has happened and will continue to happen for the foreseeable future. It’s hard to know what to do about it right now, especially when a single person feels very powerless.
That feeling of powerlessness is by design. What good does it do if you call Ted Cruz every day, and an exhausted staffer tallies it up? Good ‘ol Rafael is still going to be in Greece2, with you relying on your favorite regional grocery store chain more than the actual government, while the flood waters rise. Any social safety nets have been intentionally eroded, because if you’re too tired and stressed trying to make it through the day,3 then you certainly don’t have any time for activism, now do you?
So uh, what do we do?
Great question.
The real answer is a lot of hard work over years to build systems that prioritize meeting the basic needs of all people, even the ones you might not like specifically (what a concept!!!). Yes, that includes the people who keep voting for the Leopards Eating Faces Party, then being surprised when the leopard eats their face.
No one is coming to save us; not a specific politician you stan (please stop doing that, it’s weird), not our children, and not a beautiful special alien god. We have to save ourselves (b l e a k). I keep saying this because it keeps being true: that starts in our communities, showing up for each other, even when we don’t ✨feel like it✨, even when it’s inconvenient.
Find one concrete thing you can do and do that thing. Donate $50, spend a few hours volunteering at the food bank, or invite friends you haven’t seen in months over for dinner. Offer to babysit a friend’s kids so they can have a break. Rebuilding connections to support each other is just as critical as anything else in the absence of real systems.
You’re too busy. You’re too broke. You’re too tired. Do it anyway.
Then do it again next month.
Take a break, take a rest, but keep showing the fuck up in ways that actually mean something — so like, not just posting sassy political takes on your Instagram Story —until you can’t anymore because you’re dead. The only way things change is if we stare in the face of the relentless bullshit and say, fuck you, no, I am not giving up.
No one person can save the world single-handedly, and it’s that thinking that stalls any little bit of progress — and those little bits do add up. You do not have to do everything. You have to do something with the specific time, talents, and energy the universe has given you.
Sit With Me
If the world is crumbling around me, I’m making dinner and opening the good wine. There will be wild-caught salmon, fingerling potatoes, and dessert. You are invited to sit with me at the table and remember all the beautiful, terrible, wonderful times we had.
It’s worth fighting for more of them, for everyone. Even wee Timothée Chalamet.
Get Rec’d
What I’m reading, watching, being haunted by.
What I’m reading: I’m almost finished with Caliban's War, the second in The Expanse series of novels (I haven’t seen the show…yet). HIGHLY RECOMMEND. Also listening to Emily Henry’s Great Big Beautiful Life for book club4.
What I’m watching: It’s been long enough, I’ve been watching things that aren’t just my seasonal film favorites! (Boomer remains the hero of ID4.)
The Decameron: I don’t know who at Netflix was like “what we need right now is a 14th century examination of human morality set during The Black Death,” but I am so glad this got made; it’s wild
The Four Seasons: Yes, I am middle-aged enough for this
Dept Q: If you enjoyed Matthew Goode as a broody vampire in A Discovery of Witches, then you will love him as a depressed, anxious detective who is Smarter Than Everyone Else (A Burden He Must Carry to Solve Crimes)
Reality: 3 reasons why unplugging from the news entirely isn’t the mental health fix you think it is (unfortunately).
Escapism: Simply let God Barbie show you The Way, mortal sinner!! (Heathens sold separately.)
Wildcard: “The River House Broke. We Rushed in the River.” This piece will emotionally devastate you.
Until next time.
I just keep thinking of Kate’s line, “You guys, the truth is way more depressing. They are not even smart enough to be as evil as you're giving them credit for.”
We may have to start relying on the Ted Cruz Weather Warning System if they make any more cuts to NOAA
a week, a month…or even a year (*clapping chorus time*)
I’m only in one now, let’s see how long that lasts!!